Irritable Bowel Syndrome: The hidden emotional toll

Hyderabad: For many, food is a celebration. It’s birthday cake with friends, spontaneous dinner dates, holiday feasts, or street food cravings on a late-night walk. But for those living with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), food is rarely just about joy or taste—it’s a calculated risk. And when the stakes are high, the price is often social.

Living with the “What Ifs”

IBS affects the gastrointestinal tract, often causing bloating, abdominal pain, diarrhea, constipation, or a mix of both. It’s unpredictable and frequently misunderstood, which makes social events—especially those centered around food—a source of significant anxiety.

Rajshree Mehta, 28, recalls a time when she skipped her best friend’s engagement dinner. “I hadn’t slept the night before because of cramps, and I didn’t want to be stuck in traffic or at a restaurant with nowhere to go,” she says. “I was afraid of embarrassing myself. So I just stayed home and lied about a work emergency.”

This fear is common. The uncertainty around when symptoms might flare, combined with a lack of access to private or clean restrooms in social settings, leads many with IBS to start avoiding plans altogether.

The Invisible Weight of Decision Fatigue

Every social outing that involves food becomes a checklist of concerns:

What’s on the menu?

Is there anything I can eat without triggering symptoms?

How long will the event last?

Will there be a bathroom nearby?

What if I have to leave suddenly?

IBS patients often become experts at reading menus beforehand, sticking to bland options, or simply not eating at all to stay safe. This type of pre-planning isn’t just exhausting—it’s isolating.

Over time, the avoidance can become chronic. What starts as one missed dinner turns into a pattern of social withdrawal. “I’ve had friends think I was flaking or being dramatic,” says Neeraj, a 34-year-old advertising professional. “They don’t realize I’m managing a health condition every time I decline an invite.”

The Hidden Emotional Toll

Beyond the discomfort, IBS carries a psychological cost. Studies have linked the condition with higher rates of anxiety and depression, particularly in social contexts. The constant need to explain—or hide—the condition can be emotionally draining.

Dr. Kaveri Rao, a gastroenterologist based in Hyderabad, speaking to NewsMeter, points out that IBS is often trivialized. “Because it’s not life-threatening, people assume it’s not serious. But chronic pain, food restrictions, and social isolation deeply affect mental health.”

She adds that many patients feel guilt or shame, especially when they’re pressured to “just try a bite” or “be normal” at a gathering.

Coping Strategies and Quiet Adaptations

Still, people with IBS find creative ways to stay connected—often without anyone noticing. Some eat beforehand and pretend to be full. Others subtly suggest “coffee instead of lunch” or plan gatherings at locations where they know the restroom situation.

Tech also plays a role. Apps that track safe foods, symptoms, or nearby toilets help ease anxiety. WhatsApp groups and Reddit forums serve as support systems where people share recipes, vent about awkward moments, and remind each other they’re not alone.

But even with these tools, there’s an underlying wish that society understood the condition better, especially in cultures where food is love, and refusing it is seen as offensive or odd.

Rethinking Social Norms

The conversation around IBS needs to move beyond medical facts and into everyday compassion. That means friends who don’t question your dietary restrictions. Hosts who don’t take offense if you don’t eat. Colleagues who don’t joke about bathroom breaks.

And most importantly, spaces—both physical and emotional—that don’t force people with IBS to choose between their health and their connections.

“Sometimes,” says Aparna, “just having someone say, ‘Hey, I understand, take your time’—that makes all the difference.”

IBS Awareness Month may be ending, but for millions who live with it, the challenges are daily. It’s time we made space at the table—not just for food, but for understanding.