Sharent Trap: Love shown online, privacy pays the price

Hyderabad: The internet is never going to forget, and what if it remembers your childhood better than you do? A survey done by McAfee titled “The Age of Consent” shows that 40.5% of Indian parents post a photo or video of their child on social media at least once a day.

A mother might post her child’s first day at school on Instagram, or a father may live-stream a birthday party. These seem harmless until they are not. Sharenting is a trend in which parents regularly share photos, videos, and milestones of their children online.

When a parent uploads these photos and videos, they are creating one of the largest unregulated archives of their children’s lives online. The children whose images and videos are being shared are exposed to an audience they never intended to reach.

CID West Bengal alerted parents about the pitfalls of sharenting. Clarifying what counts as sharenting, a DIG told TOI, “A family photograph or a click from a birthday celebration is not what we are raising awareness about. It's more about striking a balance and acknowledging the fact that a child is not in a position to give consent.

In other words, it's about sharing details which, in the long run, could prove detrimental for the child's psychological growth, apart from the possibility of cyber criminals using those details for their own purposes.” During the COVID-19 pandemic, parents took to social media as a way of showcasing their children’s milestones.

According to the survey done by McAfee, 55% of the parents share images of their child on private social media accounts, where the pictures are reaching

only those whom the parents trust. There are another 42% who share the images on public accounts. The online presence is an inheritance for the child in the form of a digital identity that can influence their psychological development.

Motivations behind Sharenting:

There might be manifold reasons for a parent posting their children online. Some post out of affection and a desire to preserve the memories of their child. The collectivistic culture of India and the urge to show their children to the extended family and community is a very normal trend. Social media amplifies this pride with likes and comments acting as validation and confidence boosters.

Another motive that is particularly on the rise is the influencer-parent economy. The social media apps have monetized family channels with children’s content. The parents may not have any ulterior motives, but it has created a thin line between parenting and sharenting.

When Niyati Sanghavi, a counseling psychologist and psychotherapist, was asked the reason for the rise of Sharenting, she said, “The constant need for approval by portraying their child's achievement is directly related to them being viewed as good parents.” She mentioned that the higher the engagement on their content, the higher their motivation to keep posting for instant gratification and societal approval.

Psychological Mechanisms and Impact on Children:

Children at such an age are like play-dough; they can be moulded into whatever shape is required. Mostly, the ones who mould are the parents, and in India, it also includes the grandparents. When they are being shared online, they develop a self-concept that is partly based on others’ perspectives. Overexposure online is a sure shot method for the destruction of their sense of self.

Niyati added, “As the child grows older, it can also lead to an internal conflict in terms of them wanting to discover themselves and create their own identity vs. what their parents would want them to be like.” According to Niyati, it may even lead to a distorted sense of identity. This can lead to vulnerability to issues like stress and anxiety for the child.

The biggest concern that has arisen whenever the conversation of sharenting comes up is the autonomy that is breached. The consent of the child is under question; an infant is in no way capable of understanding the harm of a social media presence. The boundaries of a child’s privacy are flagrantly flouted.

Some other issues that could be witnessed are that a child might start to feel pressured to perform for validation online. Their brain could ingrain that if they want to be “loved” by people, they need to maintain their presence online. They may start associating their self- worth with the number of likes and comments their online presence gets.

Even the parents who do not share the pictures or videos online may end up comparing why their child is not doing the things that another child is doing, and that creates stress as well as a comparison between two children. The non-posting parent may start pushing their child to do certain things before the developmental stage is reached.

When law enforcement itself begins raising awareness about an issue, it signals that the matter is serious enough for collective attention. Assam Police decided to take a stand against sharenting and posted AI-generated images with the caption, “Likes fade, but the digital scars remain. Shield your child from the perils of Sharenting. Be mindful of what you share about your child on social media.

Forensic Risks of Sharenting:

According to the McAfee survey, an alarming trend came into light where a whopping 76% of the parents say that they are aware that the images they post of their children could end up in the wrong hands, and still post their children online. Most parents were even aware of the concerns that are associated with sharing images online, including paedophilia (16.5%), stalking (32%), kidnapping (43%), and cyberbullying (23%), but many (62%) don’t even consider their child’s consent to their images being posted online.

The material, once uploaded, is permanent. It can be stolen, misused, and reshared with anyone. Child predators are having the time of their lives with sharenting being trendy. They use these images for grooming, stalking, and even kidnapping children. These may sound scary, and rightly so. The identities of these children might be stolen and misused by cybercriminals. Sharenting also becomes a silent supply chain for paedophiles. Innocent childhood moments may turn into material for predators.

One of the biggest psychological as well as forensic aspects that comes up is bullying. For children who have been shared online from a young age, their parents may have ended up uploading some images or videos that might be considered embarrassing once they reach that age. These “embarrassing” photos or videos could be dug up by peers and be used as material for bullying and cyber harassment.

While the internet seems to remember everything, the laws in India seem not to remember as much, especially in the case where the children need protection from the consequences of sharenting. France, on the other hand, has given children control over their digital identity. Parents need to think twice before posting, and children can actually demand a takedown of their post if it harms their dignity, privacy, or safety. This shows the need of the hour.

However, a dilemma that arises is whether it is a parent’s right to share or a child’s right to privacy. Niyati also said, “The focus always has to be on what is best for the child. Parents do have a right to share, but if that right violates a child’s privacy, then they need to reevaluate what they should share online.” From the perspective of a psychologist, Niyati warns parents to be aware of what the long-term repercussions can be on their children before sharing the content online.

She also adds, “Child’s autonomy needs to be respected, and decisions need to be made keeping the same in mind.” She believes that keeping all identifiable information hidden is also very important to protect the child’s identity. Sharenting is more than just a simple show of pride towards your child; it could cause psychological as well as forensic risk.

The ripple of the impact of sharenting could destroy what are the only few moments of childhood. Awareness, education, and a legal framework to protect children in the digital age are a necessity. Their childhood isn’t content, and not every moment needs to be captured for an audience.

About the Author

Tanisha Agrawal has a Master's degree in Forensic Psychology from the National Forensic Sciences University. She worked as a researcher on the 'Motivations and morals of informants and their perspective of the law enforcement. Tanisha's book 'Corona Uncos' demonstrates her passion for real-time stories of how Covid-19, both positively and negatively, impacted people globally. She continues her work in Forensic Psychology.

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