On World Elder Abuse Day, experts urge families to offer presence, not just support from a distance

Hyderabad: June 15 marked World Elder Abuse Awareness Day, a global observance dedicated to recognising and preventing the mistreatment of older adults.

While abuse is often imagined in terms of violence or neglect, emotional disconnection—especially in an increasingly digital society—is an overlooked but harmful form of neglect. In India, where family bonds are central, the shift to virtual relationships has brought a new, quieter kind of distance.

Today, WhatsApp messages, forwarded jokes and video calls have become the default ways younger generations ‘stay in touch’ with their ageing parents or grandparents. But experts caution that this surface-level digital engagement often hides a deeper problem: the growing emotional isolation of the elderly.

Digital contact ≠ emotional care

In many Indian households, especially post-pandemic, a pattern has emerged: children video-call their parents regularly, send quick updates and coordinate appointments through apps. While this may appear attentive, many elders report feeling lonely, dismissed or emotionally sidelined.

Unlike physical interactions, digital conversations are often rushed, transactional or one-sided. Elders may hesitate to express discomfort or sadness over a call. They often censor their feelings to ‘not bother the children.’

“He calls every evening, but it’s just to check if I took my medicine. We don’t talk about anything else,” Arvind Rao (72), a retired teacher living alone in Hyderabad. “Sometimes I keep the TV on just to feel like someone’s talking.”

Emotional neglect as a form of abuse

Emotional neglect is one of the least visible but most widespread forms of elder abuse. It includes withholding affection, failing to engage in meaningful conversation, ignoring psychological needs and excluding elders from family decisions or events.

This kind of neglect often isn’t intentional. It stems from busy routines, digital dependence and a belief that frequent messages are enough. But mental health experts say emotional availability—not just communication—is essential to elder well-being.

Expert perspective: What elders need

According to Dr Ruchita Deshpande, a geriatric psychologist, speaking to NewsMeter, elders may not demand attention, but they require emotional safety. She emphasised that quick check-ins via technology cannot replace shared presence or active listening.

Dr Deshpande also points out that many older adults struggle with digital literacy, which can lead to further emotional isolation. “When they don’t understand tech fully, they often feel left out of conversations or mocked when they make mistakes,” she said.

40% of urban elders experienced symptoms of depression

Emotional neglect has measurable consequences on the mental and cognitive health of older adults. Studies have linked prolonged emotional isolation to higher rates of depression and anxiety, accelerated cognitive decline, increased risk of dementia and poor sleep and immune function.

A 2022 study by the Indian Psychiatric Society found that 40 per cent of urban elders experienced symptoms of depression, with loneliness and lack of meaningful conversation being major contributing factors.

Dr Amit Joseph, a geriatric psychiatrist, said that while digital tools are useful, they’ve made people complacent. “You might message your mother every day, but when did you last sit beside her and ask how she’s really feeling?” he asked.

Signs that digital contact isn’t enough

Here are signs your elderly loved one may be feeling emotionally neglected—even if you’re frequently in touch:

• Repeating the same stories or questions

• Excessive politeness or hesitation to ask for help

• Social withdrawal

• Changes in sleep, appetite, or behaviour

• Emotional outbursts or sudden silence

These may not just be signs of ageing—they can indicate unaddressed emotional stress.

Bridging the emotional gap: What can be done

To ensure digital contact doesn’t become emotional neglect, here are some intentional approaches:

1. Ask open-ended questions: Encourage storytelling and feelings, not just updates.

2. Use voice and video mindfully: Call when you can be fully present, not while multitasking.

3. Celebrate milestones together: Involve them meaningfully in birthdays and festivals—even if virtually.

4. Teach, don’t tease: Help them navigate tech without sarcasm or impatience.

5. Visit, when possible: Physical presence strengthens emotional trust.

Redefining care in a digital age

Modern caregiving must go beyond managing prescriptions or sending reminders. Care means presence—emotional, psychological, and physical. On this World Elder Abuse Awareness Day, it’s vital to recognise that neglect can happen not just through cruelty, but through casual disengagement.

Digital communication is a tool, not a substitute for love, warmth, and attention.

Don’t let your video calls become silent screens. Turn them into spaces of listening and belonging. This ‘World Elder Abuse Awareness Day’, let’s commit not just to staying in touch, but truly staying connected.