What Is toxic positivity? How does it impact our mental health?

Hyderabad: In a society that often equates happiness with success, people are frequently encouraged to “stay positive” no matter what challenges they face.

While optimism can be helpful, there is a fine line between maintaining a hopeful attitude and ignoring real struggles. This excessive focus on positivity—often referred to as toxic positivity—can invalidate genuine emotions, prevent healing, and lead to mental distress.

Despite good intentions, phrases like “just think positive” or “everything happens for a reason” can make people feel guilty for experiencing normal, difficult emotions. Understanding toxic positivity and its effects is crucial to fostering emotional well-being.

What Is Toxic Positivity?

Toxic positivity is the belief that people should maintain a positive mindset regardless of their circumstances. While being optimistic can be beneficial, constantly dismissing negative emotions can be harmful.

Dr. Niyati Shah, a clinical psychologist, in a conversation with NewsMeter, explains, “When someone is struggling, telling them to ‘just be positive’ can make them feel misunderstood and alone. It sends the message that their emotions are wrong, which may lead to emotional suppression.”

Some common examples of toxic positivity include:

• Minimizing struggles – Saying “at least you have a job” to someone dealing with workplace stress instead of acknowledging their difficulties.

• Ignoring grief – Telling someone who has lost a loved one that they should “focus on the happy memories” instead of allowing them to mourn.

• Shaming emotions – Suggesting that someone “shouldn’t feel sad” because “others have it worse.”

This pressure to remain positive can make individuals feel like they are failing if they experience sadness, frustration, or anger. Over time, this can prevent people from seeking support and healthily processing their emotions.

The Hidden Dangers of Toxic Positivity

1. Emotional Suppression Leads to Stress and Burnout

Ignoring negative emotions doesn’t make them disappear—it often causes them to build up. Suppressing feelings like sadness, anger, or grief can lead to increased stress and emotional exhaustion.

Dr Shah notes, “People who feel pressured to be positive all the time may start questioning their own emotions. They might think, ‘Maybe I’m overreacting’ or ‘I shouldn’t feel this way.’ Over time, this self-doubt can lead to emotional isolation.”

Research has shown that emotional suppression is linked to:

• Higher levels of anxiety and depression

• Increased risk of cardiovascular issues

• Weakened immune system

• Difficulty in maintaining relationships

Instead of forcing positivity, acknowledging and processing emotions can reduce stress and improve overall mental health.

2. Creates a Culture of Silence

When toxic positivity becomes the norm, people may hesitate to open up about their struggles. If they believe their emotions will be dismissed, they may choose to stay silent rather than seek help.

Dr Shah explains, “When people feel like their emotions are constantly invalidated, they start believing that vulnerability is a weakness. This prevents meaningful conversations and emotional support.”

This culture of silence can be particularly damaging in workplaces, schools, and social circles, where individuals may feel pressured to maintain a facade of happiness, even when they are struggling.

3. Damages Personal Relationships

Toxic positivity doesn’t just affect individuals—it also impacts relationships. When friends, family members, or partners dismiss difficult emotions with overly positive statements, it can create emotional distance.

Dr. Prajit Verma, a psychiatrist, explains, “When someone shares their struggles, they are looking for connection and understanding. If their feelings are dismissed with ‘look on the bright side,’ they may feel unheard and unsupported.”

Instead of pushing positivity, offering empathy and support can strengthen relationships. Simple phrases like “That sounds tough” or “I’m here for you” can be far more comforting than forced optimism.

How to Recognize and Avoid Toxic Positivity

Breaking the cycle of toxic positivity starts with embracing emotional authenticity. Here’s how:

1. Validate All Emotions

It’s important to recognize that all emotions—both positive and negative—are valid. Instead of dismissing sadness, anger, or frustration, acknowledge them.

Dr. Verma emphasizes, “Acknowledging emotions doesn’t mean dwelling on negativity—it means giving yourself the space to process feelings healthily.”

If a friend or loved one is struggling, try saying:

• “That sounds difficult. I’m here to listen.”

• “It’s okay to feel this way. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

2. Encourage Healthy Coping Mechanisms

Rather than forcing a positive mindset, focus on constructive ways to navigate emotions. Healthy coping strategies include:

• Journaling thoughts and feelings

• Practicing mindfulness or meditation

• Engaging in physical activity

• Seeking professional therapy or counseling

Dr. Shah advises, “Finding ways to express emotions—whether through talking, writing, or creative outlets—can prevent emotional bottling, which often leads to burnout.”

3. Set Boundaries With Toxic Positivity

If someone frequently responds to your struggles with dismissive positivity, let them know how it affects you.

Dr Shah suggests, “Setting boundaries doesn’t mean rejecting positivity. It means making space for both encouragement and honest emotional expression.”

You can say:

• “I know you mean well, but I need space to talk about how I’m feeling.”

• “I appreciate your optimism, but right now, I just need someone to listen.”

4. Normalize a Full Range of Emotions

Accepting that life includes both highs and lows helps build emotional resilience. Rather than chasing constant happiness, it’s healthier to acknowledge that emotions fluctuate naturally.

Dr. Shah states, “True mental wellness isn’t about being happy all the time—it’s about being able to navigate all emotions in a balanced way.”

Teaching children and young adults that it’s okay to experience negative emotions can help break the cycle of toxic positivity in future generations.

Conclusion

While positivity has its place, forcing it in all situations can be damaging. True emotional well-being comes from allowing ourselves to experience and process a full range of emotions—not just the positive ones. By embracing emotional authenticity and offering genuine support, we create healthier relationships, stronger mental resilience, and a more compassionate society.